New York - New York

If you are thinking that this post has something to do with the Frank Sinatra's song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUrUfJW1JGk&ab_channel=LuisEduardoAndradeOjeda), then you are wrong. Here, in the two New Yorks that are mentioned, only one corresponds to New York City and another to a person whom I code-named New York. 

Anyone who knows me even a little bit, would know how much I love New York City. I have written so many blog posts about it already. You can find one such post here http://tobeastronaut.blogspot.com/2016/02/new-york-my-love.html. Please read that, before continuing onto this one. 

So, New York City. No matter how much you say about New York for how ever long a time, it still seems less and seems too short to me. It is the place where I spent almost 8 years of my life, the place I had to leave and could not go back for various reasons, the place I miss like crazy and the place where I would want to be more than anywhere else in the world. This was very true until like 7 months ago i.e. I would have done almost anything to go back to my dear beloved New York City. 

But then, during the later weeks in the month of February, it changed. I came across her. At first it was just a simple attraction, nothing major. But as days passed, it got intense. All my waking hours, I couldn't help but think about her. Right from the moment I woke up in the morning, till the moment I went to bed, she was on my mind. Could not realize what was it about her. Maybe it is her angelic looking features or her devil-may-care type of body language or maybe it is her minimalist lifestyle which I realized by observing a  certain things she used or maybe it is her relentless commitment towards a certain things (which I got know indirectly, thanks to a very close friend of mine) or maybe it is all of them. It most likely is all of them. As further more days have passed, I got to know her better. Some of the things I got to know surprised me, some made me connect a few dots and helped me understand her previous behavior at a few instances etc. All in all, I realized that she is an amazing person and my attention was well spent. That doesn't mean she didn't have a few traits that I didn't like. But these are such traits, which hurt nobody, so it was not at all a big deal. I was in way too deep without even realizing.

Now, the reason I gave her the code name New York was, even though I loved New York City so much, if it were to choose between going back to NYC or having a shot at spending a lifetime with her, I would have chosen her. Yeah sure, I didn't know her as well as I knew New York City, because as mentioned earlier, I spent almost 8 years in NYC, but I knew her only for about a month and a half and interacted with her for only exactly a month. But that didn't change the way I feel about her. When you know, you know. 

But as luck would have it, things rarely (if ever) go as you planned. Same as what happened with New York City, i.e., I had to leave and couldn't yet return in over 7 years now, I cannot be with her because of reasons that are out of my control. So, here I am, after 5 and half months since I have spoken to her, loser at love, missing someone who probably doesn't even remember my name, pouring my heart out in public like this, for what? I have no idea. Maybe it has a little bit of therapeutic effect on me or something. 

So now, the way things are, I would do my best to return to New York City sometime in the next few years and hopefully for good, because as it turns out, the person New York could never be mine. 

Love & Pi

This morning I watched a Spanish movie called "Vivir Dos Veces". It is about a 70 something Mathematics Professor (Emilio) who is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. So he sets out to find his childhood love (Margarita) whom he hasn't seen in over 50 years, just to to keep her memories alive. On this journey, he is accompanied by his reluctant daughter, cute and quirky grand daughter and his semi-idiotic son-in-law. During the car ride from Valencia to Navarra, his daughter asks him what it so special about Margarita, then Emilio says 

"Ella es.....como el número pi. Me gustan tanto las mathematicas, porque son pura logica. Los numeros son racionales, predicibles. Pero, de repente, ne medio de tanto armonia, aparece el numero pi. Un numero, misterioso, infinito, Es un numero que esta vivo, crea su propio camino sin seguir...patrones establecidos. Y eso hace que las matematicas, ademas de logica, tambien sean magica. Eso era Margarita para mi. La magia." 

This roughly translates to - 

"She is....like the number pi.  I like Mathematics so much because it's pure logic. Numbers are rational, predictable. But, suddenly, in the middle of this harmony, is the number pi. A number that is mysterious, infinite. A number that is alive, it creates its own path without following established patterns. That's what makes math, as well as logic, partly magic too.That's what Margarita was to me. Magic." 

The mathematician in me would find a dozen things wrong with what was said about Pi. But the eternal romantic in me would give a standing ovation to whoever wrote this script. This is just so amazing. Reminded me of my own personal number Pi. Out of all the finitely many numbers (just going with the flow here ladies, absolutely no disrespect at all), i stumbled upon her when I wasn't even looking. Just like the number pi, she was a complete mystery to begin with. Just like the number pi, I could know only a little about her. Just like the number pi, she will always remain a lot more mysterious. But unlike the real number pi (pun intended), I wont get to know her anymore. Instead I would take my talents else where and maybe unlock the secrets hidden in Navier-Stokes Equations perhaps and win that Fields Medal. Only four more years left,  Navier-Stokes, here I come. 

A plea for a better tomorrow

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”

– Edmund Burke

I don’t know if I am a good person or not, but I surely have done nothing for long enough time to see many evils triumph in the world. I am also very much displeased with the direction we as humans are moving and would like to do whatever, whenever and in whichever form I can, to change as many things as I can. The evils I speak of are pollution, corruption, growing population, depleting resources, adulteration, greed, abuse of human and animals by others, etc. Some of these evils are interlinked to one another making it a huge web and getting rid of that web is no small task.

For quite a while now, I have been mulling over writing a series of blogs to tackle one of the above mentioned issues at a time. Leo’s (DiCaprio) Oscar acceptance speech put me over the laziness hill(not soon enough, because I started this blog on Mar 1^st) and is making me begin this blog series with the issue that is very close to my heart. It is that of wastage of energy, natural resources, water and other human effects on the environment. Now, I do not have as much reach as Leo, nor do I have any influence to implement policies that could steer us away from the path we are on. But what I can do is state a few facts and make a few pleas via “social media” and hope to make a difference, however small it may be.

 As the adage goes “We don’t know the value of something until we lose it”. The reason behind that could be because subconsciously we feel that we may never lose it. And that is the culprit when it comes to fuels and other energy sources.  Since we don’t actually see from where and how we get our energy, not many of us have any idea of how much fuel reserves we have left and hence think that as long as things are getting done, it’s all cool. Here are a few numbers for you. (Sorry for my incompetence in collecting data and being inconsistent with years, but I assure you the values shown below are not far from reality)

The different types of energy sources and the percentage each of them contribute to our daily usage is shown in the pie-chart below. 

As you can see most of daily used energy comes from fossil fuels i.e. Petroleum, Natural gas and Coal. CIA world factbook puts Natural gas reserves at 206.4 trillion m³ (Est. Jan 2014) and Crude oil reserves at 1.66 trillion bbl (Est. Jan 2015). There is quite a contrast on the amount of proven coal reserves in the world, so let’s leave the dirtiest (in terms of pollution caused in converting it to usable energy) of the fossil fuels alone. The renewable energy sources as the name says are almost kind of a bottomless pit, but we are using them to fulfill only a fifth of our energy needs. 

The above numbers may not make much sense, but the below graph might bring things into perspective. What the graph tells us is that, if we don’t change our energy usage habit drastically and if we don’t find any new major resources of fossil fuels and continue to extract them at the current rate, we will run out of Crude oil in 53 years, Natural gas in 55 years and Coal in 113 years.

So there needs to be urgency on our part to manage our usage of these resources. As if the situation is not bad enough as it is, we also have to deal with another issue. The destruction of energy.

Energy is always destroyed

We all (at least most of us) remember the law regarding energy that we studied in school; “Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed”. It must be very nice, we can do whatever (work) we want with it and we are not losing any of it. It’s just awesome, right? WRONG. It’s not as simple and straight forward as that. Every time an energy source is used, we are (more often than not) converting one form of energy into another and during this conversion quite a lot of it is lost. Wait, that can’t be right, it completely negates the conservation law. You are right; I kind of mislead you there. So what I should have said was that “Some of the energy that we had to begin with is lost/wasted in the process of using it”. It is kind of like a convenience fee for making a transaction, but only in this case, the money is not going into anyone’s pocket. So not only do we have depleting resources every time we use them, we are also effectively wasting part of them.

Speaking of pockets, we all got them and we think that the heavier one’s pocket, the more comfortable his/her life should be.

The Cost of comfort

What an awesome life we are living these days. It’s too hot outside, blast the AC at lowest available temperature setting; when there is a power cut, wait what power cut, we all have invertors or generators or some sort of back up; want to take a shower and there is water shortage, make a call and your water tank gets filled; have to go to work, why take a two wheeler when you have the big ass six seater car; flat is on the 3^th floor, why bother taking the stairs when you have an elevator; too tired to go buy groceries at a store not even a mile away, we can always get them delivered at home. This is nothing less than a royal treatment. Instead of making efforts to solve power and water shortage issues, we are getting around them just thinking of only ourselves and right now. Yeah it is hot out there but running the AC all the time will only make things worse by causing more pollution (indirect) and hence increase in average temperature in years to come. Carpooling or getting to work on a two wheeler may not be as cool, but it sure is a bargain for you, others and mother earth. Sure we can all pay (with money) for these comforts, but, can we really afford to use up or rather misuse all the resources? What kind of planet do you leave for generations to come?

Please understand that I am by no means implying that we all should live uncomfortable lives. Just don’t overdo it, have an optimal approach to it.

Great deal!! But for whom?

We live in a society where everyone wants to be one step ahead of our neighbors, relatives, colleagues and that guy/girl whom we met once, about 5 years ago and is now a facebook friend. And what better way to do that than by owning the latest electronic gadgets or that pair of new sports shoes or those fancy designer clothes or the ultra-modern-extra-comfortable-very-relaxing-make-you-feel-like-on-clouds furniture set. And we are in luck; there is an amazing offer on them. It is XY% off. Wow!!!! Sure, it makes us happy when we finally end up buying it/them, but what are we doing in the process? We are actually buying stuff that we most likely did not need in the first place and then start a chain reaction. We tell about our brand new purchase to everyone we know by “posting it”, and now they feel like they have to get it too and they do and they tell everyone they know and this goes on. But we can’t blame ourselves completely. We are constantly bombarded with these offers and bonanzas and deals. Deals via ads on TV and radio, deals via emails, deals via SMS(texts), deals on huge bill boards etc. and all of them make us want those stuff more. If we take a minute and think about a few things, (a) Do we really need that stuff or are we being duped into thinking that we need them? (b) How come there is always an offer on it and how is the guy selling it making a profit? & most importantly (c) How many resources are being wasted in making, transporting, advertising and selling these products that we are buying which we do not need? So, please look for deals based on your needs, don’t create needs because of the available deals.

I am in no means a saint to be preaching all these things to you but I do try to walk the talk more often than not. I wish I was like one of those people on the (New York) Subway who hold a bible in their hand and scream out all the things we are doing wrong (according to the bible) and tell how we are going to hell. Only difference is that I would be yelling about how we are screwing up the planet and are creating our own hell right here. I am not in a position to do that. I do however have a few pleas for you which could mitigate the atrocities we commit every day.

The pleas

·              Turn off the lights & fan if you are leaving the room even for a minute.
·         Take public transport or ride a bike (if possible) to work once in a while.
·         Use a high mileage hybrid car for daily usage instead of a heavy gas guzzling one.
·         If you are physically able, take the stairs whenever it is 5 floors or less. It is a double bonus; you are conserving (electric) energy and also getting a good workout at the same time.
·         Be conscious while taking a shower as most of us day dream during showering and that result in a lot of water wastage. Ration yourself the amount of water you want to use. Better yet don’t shower on days when you don’t have to, it not only saves water, it also makes you reminisce your college days.
·         Try to buy local goods as much as possible, so that there is no wastage of resources in transportation, storage etc.
·         Take a train or a bus (when feasible) instead of a plane when you are not on a time crunch.
·         Try to prolong the use of an old item (whatever it may be) of yours for a few extra weeks/months before getting a new one.
·         Have the AC at a reasonable setting and also limit its usage.
·         Install low-flow toilets in the bathrooms.
·         Look into solar energy alternatives for your daily power needs. 

The list could go on but you get the idea. Just think of the future and make conscious choices when it comes to the usage of natural resources. On a lighter note, exceptions can always be made in some instances like say if you want to impress a supermodel, then maybe you could take her out to dinner in your (low mileage) sports car or if you can afford it, on a chopper for an island vacation, but make sure you compensate by lowering your carbon foot print in other aspects like reducing your electricity usage for the next few months, walking or cycling to work every other day etc.

Rivals vs Enemies

I finally realized how pathetically out of shape I have become (thanks to a friend's recently posted group pic) and once and for all decided to get back on the fitness track. One of the tools I am using to keep myself motivated to workout and maintain better eating habits is by watching YouTube videos about what is called as CrossFit. For those of you who don’t know what CrossFit is, here is a short video about it.

 The best CrossFitters from across the world compete in an annual competition and here are the highlights of the 2014 CrossFit games.

These athletes train like crazy for the better part of the day and stay on an extremely strict diet throughout the year, all to win an event that doesn’t even pay a lot or bring much fame. You’ve got to admire their passion. There is one more attribute of these athletes that is even more admirable. When an athlete who has already finished her/his workout in the competition sees a fellow athlete struggle in finishing hers/his, the former athlete goes to the later and cheers them on, encourages them, gives them tips, offers some water, brings the chalk bag closer and does whatever it takes to help the later finish the workout. Because of the grind they go through and how much time and energy (in most literal sense of the word) they put in, they understand what their competitors go through on a daily basis. So they don’t consider each other as Enemies, they see each other as Rivals.

Enemy:One who feels hatred towards, hostile towards, intends injury to, or opposes another.

Rival:One who attempts to equal or surpass another, or who pursues the same object as another.

CrossFitters realize that the competition is painstakingly hard and they don’t need someone else to make it even more difficult by talking trash to or belittling one another. Instead they encourage, admire and look-up to one another and this makes them get better at what they do.(A No. 1 in any field knows the importance of No. 2 in that field and vice-versa). I absolutely love this about the CrossFit community. We can learn a lot from this particular attribute of these athletes and apply it to our day-to-day lives. Living in a world full of terrible things like terrorism, natural calamities, energy crisis, poverty, epidemics, Donald Trump etc. is bad enough as it is. So, instead of stepping on or taking advantage of or trying to bring down someone, we should all try to be the best we can be at the same time help, inspire and strengthen each other and treat each other as rivals and not enemies. Sure the resources in this world are limited, that doesn't mean we should fight over them, we should rather try to use these resources efficiently to fight against the real enemies like the ones mentioned above.

One of the things that I have been quite disgusted with lately is all the animosity going around on so called “Social Media” and this is mainly pertaining to politics in India. There are two major groups, (1) supporters of the current Govt. and (2) those who aren’t. The issues of interest are what the Govt. is and isn’t doing. The former group obviously likes what the govt. is doing and makes arguments for why it isn't doing certain things. The later doesn’t like what the govt. is doing and questions it on why it isn't doing other things. All of this would have been fine if it was done in an honorable way. But no, what do they do instead? They turn to calling each other names like Bhakts, Chaddis, Libertards, Sickulars etc. There is one thing these two groups do agree on and that is regarding the media whom they both lovingly and quite aptly call, Presstitutes. The reason behind this is that these groups think that the media is always reporting in favor of the other group. How that is possible, I do not know. I also always wonder this, when a member of one group (from above) posts something that might offend a member of the other group, who is he/she actually addressing these things towards? Of course it is only those on his/her “friend-list” will be able to see these posts. Do you really want to alienate someone who is(or once was) your friend or at the least an acquaintance? All the loathing and ill will helps neither and most definitely not the nation (or the world). Instead wouldn’t it be better if we tried to bring our point across in a more friendly way so that if they don’t like it, they would question it in a respectful manner and thus starting a dialogue which would end in resolving the issues? There is a reason they are called Left & Right, they are not supposed to kill each other, instead they are supposed to balance each other, keep each other in check and push each other to improve the society and the humankind.

Like friendship, rivalry too is a two way street and you can't consider someone as a rival who wants to take your head off (figuratively speaking). But you can always try to reason with him/her/them to a certain extent and if it doesn't work, then you know who's who and what's what. 

Try to keep your Friends close, Rivals closer and use them both to eliminate the Enemies.

New York My Love

During my junior year at college (2003-04), FRIENDS introduced me to a woman, a woman whom I have heard of before but did not show much interest mostly because I thought she was out of my reach. But this time around, she fascinated me very much. My interest in her grew with every episode I watched and it grew to an extent that I decided to go meet her at the earliest. And the opportunity presented to me in the form of graduate school. I planned for my Grad school in such a way that I would be close to her if not with her and I did get into a school which let me do just that. There were a few brief hurdles in the process, like me getting very sick with Mumps the week before I was supposed to leave and almost deciding to postpone the trip and then there was the thing with my fight ticket getting to me at the very last minute (for further details refer http://tobeastronaut.blogspot.in/2005/08/finally-in-usa.html) and such. But after much awaiting I finally did get to meet her on Aug 18^th 2005. She was as amazing and beautiful as I imagined and then some. Paulo Coelho said “A City is like a capricious woman: she takes time to be seduced and reveal herself completely”. She sure did take her sweet time and even after all these years, I barely know her. She goes by many names, The Big Apple, The City that never sleeps, Gotham, The Melting Pot, The Empire City and the list goes on. She will always be just New York (no offence to the State of New York) to me.

People have asked me “what is so special about her?” or “why do you like her?” etc whenever I tell them about a certain girl I like(d). I could never really give them an answer and the same is the case with NYC. Why do I like it so much? I do not know. It could be because this is where I became truly independent for the first time or because it showed me a path towards achieving my career dream or because it has been part of many a sweet memories or because it is where I met a certain girl whom I thought to be the one (again) or because it has been with me during many hardships and helped me through them or because it helped me learn quite a few things and taught me many life lessons. There may be many such cities just like her, but all I have to say is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PTDv_szmL0.

They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and trust me when I say this, my heart is fondest for you my dear. In my ideal world I would spending today with the one and my woman. Since life doesn’t just work like that, so here I am, longing for THE CITY and wishing you all out there a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

Phantom Heartache

(Not to be confused with Phantom Heart Syndrome which has a whole different meaning as defined by Urban Dictionary)

Before we get into the matter(s) of the Heart let us first see what the whole Phantom thing is. Most of you might have heard about Phantom Limb. For those who haven't. here is a brief summary. A Phantom Limb is the sensation that an amputated or a missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts.(source - Wikipedia). This amputated or missing limb can feel itchy and you cannot scratch it because well, there is no limb. Then comes the pain, Phantom Pain that is. Though I do not have any personal experience of this, I know for sure that it is serious because people have been trying to come up with different treatments for this for years.

I always (well maybe not always, but most times) wondered why it is called giving your heart or heart broken and such even though the heart has barely anything to with emotional decisions or any decisions for that matter. Emotional feelings/reactions in the body are processed by Amygdala, two almost shaped pieces in the brain. But hey  "I gave my Amygdala to someone" doesn't sound as good as saying "I gave my heart to someone". Anyway, we are getting way off topic here. So for now, let us assume and the heart has everything to do "feelings". So when you like someone or "love" someone and I mean romantically, it means you have given your heart to them. There are two possibilities in this scenario. That person might take your hear or they might not. You are in trouble no either case. If they don't take it, well it is out there somewhere, floating in the cold cosmos, all vulnerable. And if they do take it, then to begin with, it is all warm and fuzzy and the whole world is filled with rainbows and unicorns. But what you tend to forget is that you are no longer in control of your heart and someone else does. That person might take real good care of it, until things go south and don't kid yourself they more often than not they do. And I am NOT saying this by personal experience, because I have none what so ever, but I am saying this because there is thing called "The Second Law of Thermodynamics" which also disguises as Murphy's Law. So when things do go south, your heart(which apparently is fragile like a glass) is in the hands of someone else who might shatter it to pieces.

So in both the above cases (the first of which I am the king of and the second I have no idea about), the heart, the most essential part of the body is missing from the body and you have no control over it. That's when the Phantom Heartache begins. It's bad enough that it is missing from your body and yet you feel the pain. Sometimes it is mild but sometimes it is very acute, like thousand needles are pricking at it or like being inside a hot furnace. In most cases this Phantom Heartache seems to subside with time, but in some cases even after years, the pain lingers and creeps up ever so often and can make you miserable. Now is this pain worth it? Is it worth to take the risk of flinging your heart out there for someone to grab it or let it float around? The answer seems to be a resounding YES.

Losers write Poems, Winner gets the Girl

I always felt there are two types of deewanein (plural for deewana (m.) – noun, meaning “crazy in love”) in the world. One who writes poems or songs and try to win over someone’s heart with his so called sincere ways and the second kind would do whatever it takes, being boundless, brazen and even brash. A parallel can be drawn to how many people approach towards another four letter word which also starts with G and ends in an L, GOAL. Everyone has at least one if not many and like in most cases our approach towards our goal(s) are different.

The first kind of deewana is often timid, shy and passive. He might be the most talented and capable of the lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he will or should get the girl and as often is the case, the girl may not even know of his existence. He spends his time dreaming about the girl, using her pic(s) as wallpapers, writes poems/songs for her, becomes delusional and thinks that what he is doing is going to get him the girl. He has false hopes that she will somehow notice him for whatever small attempts he makes to gain her attention. The second kind of deewana is confident, bold and doesn’t even mind making a fool of himself in front of dozens. He may not have the talent or the abilities to back up his confidence, his boldness maybe be borderline stupidity, but what the hell, he did get noticed and more often than not will be given a chance.  He is someone who does it research, knows the likes and dislikes of the girl, gets her favorite flowers and hands them in person. He probably even would tell a few white lies (I am in no way suggesting any of you to do this) and makes her believe that he is the right one for her. And in the end, he gets the girl.

People often complain about how things are not working out the way they want them to and these people think that they are working hard and doing all the right things and yet achieving no success. They are like the first kind of deewana. They should take a good long look at their efforts, because those things you think are right might not be the ones that would actually help you achieve your goals. They should learn from that nobody (or so you think of him/her) who is getting the job you want, the promotion you deserve or winning that award etc. because he/she is doing something right. That right thing maybe unethical and in some cases borderline illegal, but his/her aggressive approach is what is making him/her a winner. You should have such an approach towards your goals. You cannot just try a few things and then complain that they are taking you nowhere. Remember the world is not a fair place and the nice guy may never get the girl, so be like the second kind of deewana, not that I would recommend you to lie, cheat or do anything illegal, but do bend the rules, stretch the limits of the truth and do the things that would actually get to your goal.